Books on Modern Etiquette
Modern life is fraught with stress. As we race against the clock to complete our tasks, we sometimes forget to take the time to treat other people courteously. The truth is that a polite request using the words “please” and “thank you” is much more likely to get us want we want than a gruff or rude demand. Manners help us to interact with other people in a way that is pleasant for everyone.
“Miss Conduct's Mind Over Manners: Master the Slippery Rules of Modern Alternative Etiquette” by Robin Abrahams offers a witty, sophisticated guide to modern social behaviour. Abrahams’s credentials are impeccable. She writes a column under the name of “Miss Conduct” for the Boston Globe, has a doctorate in psychology, and has worked as a stand-up comedian. As such, she is not afraid to tackle perplexing social dilemmas such as, whether it is polite to say “Bless you” to a sneezing atheist or whether a foreign person’s name should be pronounced in his native accent. Abrahams outlines eight steps to more graceful living and for handling the inevitable mistakes that we all make. With humour, compassion, and gusto, “Miss Conduct’s Mind over Manners" delivers thoughtful advice for navigating the complex modern world.
“That’s So Annoying: An Etiquette Expert On the World’s Most Irritating Habits and What to Do About Them” is written by Cynthia W. Lett, a regular contributor to television and radio talk shows. The book lists the most common grievances and frustrations while at the same time offering practical advice about ways to cope. One of the tips that Lett provides is to lighten up a bit because it’s important not to sweat the small stuff and a little tolerance goes a long way.
“What Do You Say When: Talking to People with Confidence on Any Social or Business Occasion” by Florence Isaacs. When you know the right things to say, you not only feel relaxed, but also make others feel more comfortable as well. “What Do You Say When” provides a complete guide to conversation in a variety of circumstances. Isaacs provides helpful rules that will work anywhere such as dinners, job interviews, conferences, dates, and even family reunions!
Children can learn a lot about correct behaviour by absorbing that information in the form of a story. “Please Say Please, Grumpy Bunny!” by Justine Fontes helps children to understand the importance of the magic word “please” and uses softly-coloured illustrations to enhance the story. “D.W.'s Guide to Perfect Manners” by Marc Brown is part of the Arthur series of books and demonstrates the importance of cleanliness, orderliness, and good manners. Both books would be suitable for children in pre-kindergarten to Grade 2.
“No Talking” is an award-winning fictional story written by Andrew Clements about a group of fifth- graders who turn silence to their own subversive ends. In this comic yet thoughtful story, students are inspired by Gandhi's daylong rituals of silence and devise a contest to determine whether girls or boys can keep quiet the longest. The results see many of the contestants taking strides toward becoming more thoughtful, compassionate people. The book is suitable for children in Grades 3 to 6.
If you want to learn more about etiquette and good manners, your local library has a wealth of information available. The online catalogue is available on the internet at www.city.kawarthalakes.on.ca/library and allows you to place a hold on any item in the system.
Linda Kent is the Chief Librarian at the City of Kawartha Lakes Public Library
